Monday, December 22, 2008

Feelin' A Little Blue

Sorry for the extended absences lately. I've been feeling really melancholy this Christmas. I just feel like it's not the same anymore.

I miss my family at Christmas. My parents are busy with work and their lives. My sister works full time and has two little boys. My youngest brother is going through a really tough time in his life right now. My younger brother has always been distanced from my life. Christmas was always a really special time for us though. We always came together for Christmas Eve.

This year Christmas Eve is different though. My younger brother and his family don't usually show up at my parents until right before I'm ready to get my kids home and in bed, usually around 9pm. My youngest brother is separated from his wife who was like a sister to me and I'm having a hard time getting over that. My sister spends time with her inlaws which she needs to do. I just really miss having everyone together. I just have to deal with it I guess.

My Dad and I have a little tradition that we do every year. We eat kielbasa and sauerkraut on Christmas Eve and have babka and tons of other food. Every year my Dad and I make the trip to Philadelphia to stand in line at the butcher and a particular Polish bakery in the neighborhood where my Dad grew up. He drives around his old neighborhood and points out all the places that he remembers as a kid. It's funny because every year he tells me the same stories! I let him though because I want to remember them so that when it's my turn to take my daughters I can tell them the stories.

It was great to spend some time with my Dad. We used to work together so we spent tons of time together but when I decided to be a stay at home mom I just don't get to see him as much. We visited our old office to wish everyone a merry Christmas and then went to have some lunch.

My Mom got to spend some one on one time with the girls as well. They love going over to my parents' house but just don't get over there very often.

Tomorrow I'll hit the food store for some last minute things then the girls and I will finish up our last minute baking. Tomorrow night we'll be heading over to my sister in law's house for her birthday. Then Christmas Eve will be spent with my family over at my parents' house.

Today is also my 7th anniversary. It hasn't been an easy 7 years but we're working on it. I think my parents made being married look so easy that I sometimes expect too much from my Hubby. He always gives the girls their baths and puts them to bed and he lets me sleep in EVERY weekend. He even cooks dinner quite often.

Well, the last batch of cookies is out of the oven and I'm off to spend some time with Hubby before heading off to bed.


Momisodes said...

I'm so sorry you're feeling melancholy. This time of year really can expose to the more tender emotions and make them raw again. I hope as the week goes on your spirits lift. Sending you some *hugs*

Happy anniversary :)

MizFit said...

I feel you.

so much of this I can relate to as well and it's ALL exacerbated by the holiday season.

take care of yourself,


Ms. Tee said...

Oh, I'm sorry you are feeling blue. I will be praying that your spirits lift. :) What a sweet story about your dad and the special tradition that you share. I love that you let him tell you the same stories - that's so sweet.

I hope you have a good Christmas and happy anniversary, too :)

Samantha said...

I am sorry you are feeling a little sad this Christmas.

I haven't spent a Christmas with my side of the family since Bailey was 2 months old. That was 8 years ago, and I feel guilty for that every year. But it is so much easier and cheaper to stay at home, especially since my husband's family is so close to us and the kids have cousins to play with while there aren't any cousins on my side.

Maybe your family could make some sort of new tradition so you could all get together.

I know how you feel about the SIL thing too. My BIL's wife shockingly filed for divorce last month, and it has been hard on the family. They had been married 15 years! So it sucks this year for Christmas.

Sorry so long. Have a wonderful holiday!