Why do they have to grow up so fast?

My Curly Girl has her first crush! And it's KILLING me! She's been talking nonstop since school started about a boy in her class. She tells us that she's going to marry him when she's a grownup and she's going to wear a dress like I did in our wedding picture and he's going to dress up like Daddy did.

So today we had a playdate at Chik Fil A. This morning when she was getting dressed she insisted that she HAD to wear a dress. Ok, that's fine, I choose my battles wisely. Then she insisted on wearing flip flops. Ok, the weather's warm today and it's probably the last time you'll be able to wear them until spring.

Then she turns to me and says "Mommy, I need some lipstick to look beautiful."

"No you don't" I told her, "You're beautiful just the way you are."

I don't know where she's getting this from. We've always told her that she's beautiful just the way she is and smart and strong and everything else we believe she is. We're trying to help her grow up with confidence in herself and not feel that she has to judge herself by what she sees in the mirror but what she knows is on her inside.

I've always made it a point that when I'm getting myself ready that I don't say anything negative about myself or make a face when I'm not happy about what I'm wearing. Not that I don't feel it sometimes but I just don't want my girls to grow up not feeling "pretty" enough or "good" enough.

Another thing I just don't get is why she feels like she has to be pretty for this little boy. I've always been confident in myself and have never felt like I had to impress the boys. I want her to have confidence and not chase boys. I really thought I'd have a few more years before I'd even have to worry about this stuff.

We don't have any Hanna Montana or High School Musical stuff in our house. She watches PBS when she watches tv or she watches a dvd. I have no idea where she's getting this stuff from. She's always telling me that the little boy is her boyfriend. He's a great kid and his mom's great.

I guess I just have to face it that my little girl is growing up and the more she's around other kids at school the more she's going to pick up. We just have to keep her grounded and build her confidence so that she becomes an independent thinker and isn't influenced by other people who may not have that at home.

I am so not ready for this age yet!

Losing your heart

When we went to Sesame Place the other day I had just a taste of what parents must feel in that moment when they realize they can't find their child.

I was playing with Munchkin in the little kid area. Hubby and Curly Girl were off climbing in the nets and tubes. There were so many little kids in the play area where Munchkin and I were that it was hard to tell whose kid was whose. One of the dads walked in front of me and momentarily blocked my view from where I was sitting, it was maybe ten seconds or so. In that small amount of time Munchkin decided to take off to somewhere more interesting.

Suddenly I realized that she wasn't there. I swear she was only about five feet away from me and that quickly she was gone. I started to panic and call her name. I asked a few people if they had seen her and I realized that I couldn't even think of what she was wearing. I started running around calling for her and I went over to another section just next to where we were playing that had a slide and climbing set on on and I find Munchkin climbing up the slide, totally oblivious to how she freaked me out.

This really made me realize just how quickly they can disappear. She was just five feet away from me! It's so important to never take your eyes off of them for even a split second, especially when there are so many other kids around and everything is the same bright primary colors of the clothes they are wearing.

I hope that I never have to experience that feeling again. In just the 30 seconds or so that I thought I'd lost her I had so many horrible thoughts go through my mind. My heart goes out to those parents who have lost a child.

I just thank God that I found her when I did. I don't want to lose my heart ever again.